Tina’s Birth Story
Member of our Push Circle, Tina, with her daughter, Collins.
I loved being pregnant – every kick, every movement and yes, even every backache that went along with growing my precious little girl. As I got closer to her due date, I knew I would miss those moments, but I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms.
I tried to stop myself from over engineering labor and delivery. As a first-time mom I didn’t know what to expect and opted not to create a detailed birth plan. I leaned on family and friends for advice and guidance and turned to them with my questions. I certainly had my preferences, but I had heard enough birth stories that did not go as planned. Most of the time I found myself trying NOT to think about the delivery and choosing an ‘ignorance is bliss’ approach!
I was putting so much energy into packing my hospital back and preparing the nursery, but it hadn’t occurred to me that there was something I could be doing to prepare myself mentally for childbirth. I finally sat down with my Mental Push Plan and worked on building my mental toolbox.
As luck would have it my contractions started on a snowy Colorado evening. I had been told I “would just know” when the contractions were real, and it’s true! I tried distracting myself by watching TV and “nesting,” but it wasn’t long before I was struggling to stay focused and calm. Time to reach for my toolbox! It was trial and error to find what worked best for me and I found myself turning to a few birth mantras and counting/combined with breathing.
I was surprised at just how long the process of labor was! It seemed that I as soon as I conquered one obstacle there was another in front of me. While I had some relief with the epidural, I was met with intense back labor due to Baby Girl’s “sunny side up” position. I have a clear memory of turning to my husband in tears. I had lost focus and was feeling panicked and he told me to remember my tools and start my counting/breathing. I loved that he was being an advocate for my Mental Push Plan and giving me the encouragement I needed to re-center.
Collins May Cortese, 7lbs 4oz, 20 inches.
After pushing for two and a half hours, my doctor recommended assisted delivery via vacuum extraction. If this didn’t work, we would need to move to an emergency c-section. I was going on 24 hours of labor and was determined to deliver vaginally, but ultimately wanted my baby to arrive safely. Luckily, I wouldn’t need to wait much longer! Collins May Cortese was born on February 25th at 3:29pm. All 7lbs 4oz and 20 inches of her was perfect!
Looking back on my labor and delivery, there was much that did not go as expected. I had never considered what would happen if I needed assistance during delivery. I also came away with a third degree episiotomy. But through the process I trusted the team around me – my husband, doctors and nurses – and most importantly I trusted myself. I came away from childbirth with a new perspective and such a profound respect for all the women in my life. To grow, carry and deliver your child is the most beautiful experience. At the same time, it is tremendously demanding and physically and emotionally draining. The time I invested in ‘exercising’ my mental muscles was invaluable to me.
